Hypocrite – Who me?!

So it is almost 1 am and I can’t sleep because the word hypocrite is rolling around my head. Am I a hypocrite? Well, I like to think not but lets see what the dictionary says:

Hypocrite:
a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

Well according to the dictionary I am indeed a hypocrite! I can’t believe it but, I have to face the facts, and stop living in my world of denial and excuses.

Why is this word rolling around my head, not allowing me to sleep because tonight I was sharing with a friend who I love and adore my opinion and thoughts on friendship and I was honestly trying to be a good friend to her and give her sound advice but now I realize that I was telling her to do one thing when I am doing the exact opposite in my own life.

Tonight we were talking about friendship’s how there are some people who come into your life as a friend but end up treating you like crap. I love to call those people “Chi suckers”. “Chi suckers” are people who are in your life that purposely suck the chi from you, they are mean to you no matter how nice you are, they treat you like crap unless it’s convenient for them not to, and you as hard as you try you can and will never please them. They know how they are acting and how it affects others and they just don’t care. It’s all about them!

I believe that true friend’s don’t do that to you. You should be able to be yourself, good, bad or indifferent in a friendship and be loved for you! I honestly don’t understand “Chi suckers”, I don’t understand how or why they treat people the way they do. I was telling my friend that I don’t tolerate people like that in my life.

Well…I honestly believe everything I told her…and then I realized tonight that I do have a “Chi sucker” in my life that treats me the way I was telling her, no one should be treated. I shall refer to him as “The Jerk” (and no it’s not my hubby, in case you are wondering!)

“The Jerk” is actually a friend of my hubby’s. I honestly believe deep down he is a nice guy and I hate to admit it but, I actually do like him, he is like family to us which makes this even harder!! I try to be a good sport and take it, I even excuse his behavior and comments by saying well, he’s just teasing and joking with me. But tonight he went too far, he pushed me to my breaking point.

Long story short - He claims that I said something at a party that upset him and caused trouble for him with a girl that he is…hmmmm well I don’t know exactly what he’s doing with her but… let’s call it “dating”. I honestly don’t believe I said what I am being accused of saying. Regardless, instead of talking to me in the moment at the party (and yes he could have pulled me aside) he decides to be passive aggressive and treat me like crap! I tried to explain that I think he heard me incorrectly but, “The Jerk” doesn’t want to listen, he just wants to talk crap and make me feel bad about the situation.

While I was getting upset tonight and feeling very hurt by his comments, I realized…I did nothing wrong. Any issue(s) he has with this girl is his own fault, not mine!

And then…as I laid down to go to sleep…I realized I was a hypocrite! OMG..here I am allowing someone to treat me they way that I despise.

Well…no more!! I will not be a hypocrite, I will not a be victim; I will not allow “The Jerk” to suck my Chi anymore! I can not and will not allow his “Chi sucking” ways to continue. I can not allow him to continue to make hurtful comments and to push my buttons just to annoy me! If he wants to be a part of my world then he will need to learn to treat me with respect and kindness.

How do I plan to do this? Well... I have come up with 3 step plan to rid myself of the “Chi sucking Jerk’s” inappropriate behavior:

Step 1.
Set clear boundaries – I must make myself clear about what behavior is acceptable and what behavior is not

Step 2.
Do not engage in “Chi sucking” actives - I must not play into the drama, when he is behaving like a “Chi sucking Jerk”, I shall ignore him

Step 3.
See Step 1 and stick to the boundaries that are set – I must stick to my boundaries and not allow them to be crossed

Well…wish me luck…I hope my 3 step plan works, if not it should make for a great new post on what not to do when trying to stop "Chi sucking" behavior!

REALLY? There is something wrong with MY child? No there must be something wrong with YOU!

REALLY? There is something wrong with MY child? No there must be something wrong with YOU!

That is what ran through my head when Jake’s preschool teacher told me that she was worried about him. She said she thought he had a sensory disorder! Well what the hell is that?!

Jake had been such a easy baby and a happy toddler but once he was about 2 1/2 , I started noticing his little tendencies such as his shoe laces had to be perfect, he didn’t like being dirty, he enjoyed spinning and OMG certain smells would make him sick. But I admit I enjoyed my world of denial. I just thought that he had a little OCD but, was okay. I use to think, so what if he doesn’t want to eat lunch with the kids at preschool because the smell of their food bothers him, so what if he has a melt down because his hands got dirty, so what if I had to tie his shoes multiple times to his liking, he was my child, my only child and he was PERFECT!

While I am sitting there crying and trying to process what his teacher is telling me, in the back of my mind I knew that what she was saying was true. As a mother I didn’t want to believe that there was something off about my child but, I knew…deep down I knew.

I stayed in bed the next day crying and having a pity day. That is what I needed. After that I got up and decided that I had to get to the bottom of this and needed to be his advocate. My hubby on the other hand was still enjoying the world of denial but, told me to do whatever I thought was right!

Next blog....The Journey to Diagnosis

Blogging about Asperger's Syndrome

So I have finally decieded to blog about our journey and life raising a child with Aspergers Syndrome. I plan to blogg about it in sections and hope to have it all up in the next two weeks. Then I am moving to blogging about our eventually adoption and life in general!

Please feel free to email me questions about living with a Appie child or any other questions. Hope you enjoy our story.

Shannon